I work with morons (Episode 1 - The Spanish Menace)

So, this is a post I have promised for some time now. It was only as I sat down to write it that I realised I work with far too many morons to squeeze into one post. Therefore I have decided to write it in a number of parts which each one dedicated to a certain member of staff.

The first one I shall deal with is one of the more recent employees. I say more recent as it is very hard to tell who was the last person to join as the staff join and leave so quickly you wouldn't believe it. The main reason for this is the fact that the management refuse to get involved in training anyone, as it would involve them actually finding their passports and coming out to do an honest days (nights) work. As a result the new people are trained by whoever is available to do the shift that night, which means that new staff are indoctrinated into the dislikes and management slagging off of the existing drivers. As a result they tend to leave quickly.

So, part 1 is someone I shall call "The Spaniard". He is a guy who apparently used to live in Spain, although you certainly wouldn't know it from his Spanish skills. One of his more endearing, or should I say annoying, habits is to speak remarkably poor Spanish to everyone in Paris. When questioned as to why he does this, he replied "well, I don't speak bloody French do I?". Well actually, you don't appear to be able to speak Spanish either. I can only surmise that he is using the basis of "if it's not English, it's 'foreign', therefore anyone 'foreign' must be able to understand it.

For the last couple of months he has been doing the same shift to the same place day in, day out. If you listen to him complain about this, it is quite obvious that he detests it, at least until he is swapped off it. Then he kicks up the most almighty boo about it and gets himself back on it. At which point he bitches again constantly. Fine with me, Spaniard, I hate that shift anyway.

However, by far and away my favourite characteristic is the stamp. He doesn't sign for shipments, it would be far too much hassle to carry a pen round with him. Instead he carries round an ink pad and rubber stamp of his signature. I'm not 100% sure why, he's not particularly famous, so I find it unlikely he's going to get asked for autographs by a horde of screaming girls thus giving him writers cramp, but he seems happy with it. However, when I asked him why he had it, he said that someone had made it for him from his signature.

He must be the only person I know whose signature you can actually read, but is in fact spelt wrong.

Rib Shack verdict: Moron