Assembly required

Possibly the two worst words in the English language. OK, there are a couple of exceptions, although only "you're impotent" immediately springs to mind. I mean after all, if you're dying you don't really have to worry about self-assmebly furniture. I need an electric screwdriver to reduce these blisters.

I willingly went to Ikea today. I know, I can almost hear you saying it "but you detest Ikea" - and you would be right. However, I think I broke all records in the sweep-shopping-time. Regardless, it's a rock'n'roll bed with a raising and lowering headboard. Ideal for those times when you want to have sex read a book.

Marvellous wedding last weekend, and I mean fucking brilliant. Service was a little bit old fashioned - but for those of you who know Paul - you would know that the reception would kick ass. And kick ass it did. I drank so much free red wine my tongue turned black. We also had a helium inhaling competition (I didn't win - my voice is high pitched enough that I got accused of cheating). All in all excellent - I almost hope they get divorced so Paul can get married again.

I will leave you for now with a picture of Mrs Ribby and a drunken me. I have had so much grief about grinning like an idiot on photos that I made a (sub)conscious effort to just smile. An unfortunate result. Mrs Ribby looks fantastic though.