Wednesday, February 21, 2007

We can rebuild you...


So, where do I start?

My 18-month blog hiatus has come to an end. Mind you, in fairness, not a great deal has happened in the meantime. I'll lay it out for you in a couple of concise, easy to digest pieces.

  • I'm a father. No, I'm not your father, this isn't Star Wars. Little Dylan was born on the 2nd July 2006 at 5.48am. Thanks for a) being so bloody early, and b) making me miss the World Cup quarter final the afternoon before. Here's news for you kiddo - I've got photos of you with no clothes on, and I will exact my revenge. Probably sometime during your teens.
  • I've moved countries. Having got a little teed off with with the inability of the French to handle simple traffic rules, I felt it was best for me to relocate to somewhere that had as many roundabouts as possible that hadn't quite reached critical mass. This ruled out Bracknell, and Swindon was full - so I have relocated to Milton Keynes.
  • I'm no longer a lorry driver. I realised that if I were to be a lorry driver in Milton Keynes I would very quickly get dizzy and die, so I changed jobs again. Not satisifed with being an accepted member of society (having been an Englishman in France), I decided to return to my roots and sell substandard housing to the poor and hopelessly optimistic. aka estate agency.
Hardly worth a post really, but I thought it was time that The Rib Shack got back off the ground, broke new ground, and, perhaps, fell on the ground. I'll try and keep you posted of the trials and tribulations of a new father, an estate agent and a resident of what I heard described as "the best new city in the world" as and when things happen.

'Night pop pickers, and welcome back.

4 Comments:

Blogger Phut said...

Biiiiiiiitch!

Welcome back. We've been awaiting your return for almost as long as we've been waiting for Chinese Democracy.

You may want to update some of your links, since a few people have moved on or died since you last posted. Whenever you get a chance, you know. Say 2011.

6:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

SPIN MY NIPPLE NUTS AND SEND ME TO ALASKA!! You ARE back!!
… which reminds me, congrats on being a dad, we’re both SOOOOOOO pleased for you.
Burkerp …. (H) Cluck cluck
Dylan is blessed to have you as parents.

Right formalities over back to business I propose and International "Dead Pool" Ribs I apologise in advance … RIP Granpa Ribs :-)

Thanks Phut, of course you have cited the death MECCA
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page - heck if EVERYONE knows it MUST be true...

With my eerie predictions previously I reckon I am on a winner, and I cite documented evidence forthwith:
Steve Irwin:: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Irwin#Funeral_and_memorials
Fish Bones http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elizabeth_Bowes-Lyon#Death
Sodding Insain : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saddam_Hussain#Execution
I forget my 4th, but odds are they’re dead.. After all “Everyone Dies” .. Thanks Google : http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=122779 ...!

Compile your list as per original rules:
4 x “A LIST” celebrities”, CLEARLY currently alive but not long for this mortal coil.. £10 Sterling (Sorry Phut!!) for each demise… good luck!

I choose:
Osama – die mofo
Paul Daniels = POOF and that’s magic
Alonso – call it spooky but I told you so….
And Mr J Nicholson, heck I want his car parking spot!!!!!!

Marvellous


:-)

12:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Was that a drive by posting, or is this a regular event :-)

11:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great work.

4:24 PM  

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